December 14, 2010 • 2 notes

Christmas Survival Guide

By Kevin MacDonald

So you think that Christmas is much too commercial?

    Well, you could always dispense with the flatscreen dispersal.

Remember that Jesus was born in the spring.

    So Christmas, it seems, means nary a thing.

Unless it turns out you’re a practicing pagan.

    Then you’re just happy that winter has begun.

So enjoy the snow and mind the black ice.

    Moan all you want, but those lights are so nice.

E-mail a relative you haven’t seen lately,

    And smile at coworkers who trouble you greatly.

Watch out for SantaCon and its drunken asses.

    Take advantage of mistletoe for smooches from lasses.

Feel slim in the sweater that covers your gut,

    Never mind that those cupcakes go right to your butt.

Get wasted on six cups of room temp eggnog,

    Just don’t stumble into the burning Yule log.

Ignore all the music that makes your ears bleed,

    And give twenty bucks to the children in need.

Yeah, fine, you still think that Christmas is stupid,

    But it’s hardly as bullshit as roses and Cupid.

September 1, 2010

RT @yokoono: Is framing a way of limiting the reality to a more digestible dosage?

September 1, 2010

“Silence is golden,” but it don’t pay the bills. Speak up. Being passive-aggressive won’t get you what you want or make you any friends.

September 1, 2010

“Silence is golden,” but it don’t pay the bills. Speak up. Being passive-aggressive won’t get you what you want or make you any friends.

September 1, 2010

RT @yokoono: Is framing a way of limiting the reality to a more digestible dosage?

August 30, 2010

Who Do You Trust?

This man?

A Mormon masquerading as an Evangelical because he knows which group is easier to manipulate. A guy who can’t even be true to his own faith, while preaching to others to embrace theirs. And all in a sad attempt to recapture a Golden Age that never existed in the first place.

The past sucked. Read your history. Your real history. Not the fabircated version of charlatans such as this.

People of his stripe are after only two things: money or power. Usually both. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care about your country. Division and anger pay his salary. Hatred and lies keep a roof over his head. Isn’t the world a bitter enough place as it is?

I mean, how can you take this guy seriously …

August 28, 2010
Q
What is Wax Froot?
Anonymous
A

Wax Froot is a new type of self-help Web site. Most alleged self-help “gurus” are only after one thing: your money. How can you trust someone with that kind of ulterior motive?

Answer: You can’t.

But here at Wax Froot, we’re not in it for the money. We’re in it to make the world a better place and to make you a better person. How do we do that?

Most self-help books start from the premise that you are okay. They sell themselves by telling you that you are an amazing, attractive, intelligent, creative, funny, and caring person. But if all that is true, then why does your life still suck?

Of course, the people selling the book know the answer. And it’s a simple answer. But it isn’t one they want to tell you, because the harsh truth of it might make you too depressed to buy their book. They want your ego pumped up just enough that you’ll hand over your cash. And you’re more than willing to do it, aren’t you? After all, they did just tell you that you shit rainbows.

But we both know that’s not true.

You’re life sucks because you suck. You’re not attractive. You’re not intelligent. You’re not creative or funny. And you’re probably an asshole. Most of the pain and misery and failure in your life you brought on yourself.

But we can fix that.

Promise.

August 28, 2010 • 4 notes
The only way to get rich from a self-help book is to write one.
Christopher Buckley, God Is My Broker
August 20, 2010

The Last Self-Help Web Site You’ll Ever Need!

Your Life Will Change Forever!

Soon.